Welcome! I am a
thirty four year old mother of a toddler.
I knit, listen to a lot of The Cure, wear a lot of black, rescue many
kittens, and revel in delicious crunchy, hipster foodie things. Five weeks ago I went to the emergency room
with severe abdominal pain and was admitted to the hospital for what was
described to me as a “big mama tumor” on my left ovary. The next day I was taken into surgery for
what was supposed to be a straight forward removal of both the tumor and my
left ovary, the surgery was expected to take an hour. Eight hours later I was wheeled back into my
hospital room. While still very out of
it from the anesthesia I had no concept of time but I did notice some very
obvious things: my husband wasn’t there, replaced by friends and it was dark
outside. My doctor came in and explained
that my surgery had been very complicated.
I ended up needing a total abdominal hysterectomy, which means I lost my
uterus, cervix, and both ovaries. In
addition to that, the doctors also removed 2 lymph nodes, my omentum, and
numerous other things. I now had two
doctors, the second being my brand new oncologist because guess what ladies and
gentleman…I have ovarian cancer.
Being diagnosed with cancer is the most surreal experience
and is incredibly difficult to navigate on a whole lot of levels. I’ve learned a lot in the past five weeks
about my body and medicine but also about my own strength. We really don’t understand bravery until we
are in the thick of it. I am wrestling
with a lot of issues that I think are important to share here on the
blogosphere because cancer is a big, stupid, scary deal.
I will expound on my experience and discuss the things that
are pressing on me at any given moment, topics like: identity, parenting, sexuality, spirituality, nutrition,
and grief. This is a journey that many
people face, more than I ever realized.
I hope that this will be a place to laugh, learn and find community
because we are not alone but having cancer is lonely.
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