Sunday, September 11, 2016

Welcome to the Journey

Welcome!  I am a thirty four year old mother of a toddler.  I knit, listen to a lot of The Cure, wear a lot of black, rescue many kittens, and revel in delicious crunchy, hipster foodie things.  Five weeks ago I went to the emergency room with severe abdominal pain and was admitted to the hospital for what was described to me as a “big mama tumor” on my left ovary.  The next day I was taken into surgery for what was supposed to be a straight forward removal of both the tumor and my left ovary, the surgery was expected to take an hour.  Eight hours later I was wheeled back into my hospital room.  While still very out of it from the anesthesia I had no concept of time but I did notice some very obvious things: my husband wasn’t there, replaced by friends and it was dark outside.  My doctor came in and explained that my surgery had been very complicated.  I ended up needing a total abdominal hysterectomy, which means I lost my uterus, cervix, and both ovaries.  In addition to that, the doctors also removed 2 lymph nodes, my omentum, and numerous other things.  I now had two doctors, the second being my brand new oncologist because guess what ladies and gentleman…I have ovarian cancer.

Being diagnosed with cancer is the most surreal experience and is incredibly difficult to navigate on a whole lot of levels.  I’ve learned a lot in the past five weeks about my body and medicine but also about my own strength.  We really don’t understand bravery until we are in the thick of it.  I am wrestling with a lot of issues that I think are important to share here on the blogosphere because cancer is a big, stupid, scary deal. 


I will expound on my experience and discuss the things that are pressing on me at any given moment, topics like: identity, parenting, sexuality, spirituality, nutrition, and grief.  This is a journey that many people face, more than I ever realized.  I hope that this will be a place to laugh, learn and find community because we are not alone but having cancer is lonely.  

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