Yesterday was my final chemo treatment. I cannot express the sense of dread that I
felt leading up to it. I rebelled almost
to the end, subconsciously, but still it was a form of rebellion. I waited until the very last minute to refill
my meds, I forget my lab orders for my lab work the day before. I sobbed uncontrollably and told my husband
that I didn’t want to do it. If this
sounds like weakness, maybe it is. But
more likely, it’s the breakdown that needed to happen all along.
Being on this side of it though, feels amazing. Yes, the next two weeks are going to be a
bummer, but knowing that I don’t have to do it again is such a relief. And honestly, this last session was the best
yet. I felt like my doctor really
listened to me when we were discussing how last time went and he made the
appropriate changes to my treatment in terms of dosage and premeds. He answered all of my questions and talked to
me about new studies and the different treatment options available and why we
went this way with me. The nurse used a
smaller needle for my IV so that wasn’t nearly as painful as it has been in the
past, and I was only there for about 6 hours, which was much preferred to 8.
So here are my tips to anyone receiving chemo in the future:
- Be candid with your doctor and ask questions. I know that sounds obvious, but there are a ton of treatment plans available and you want to be informed about what your options are. Make sure that you feel comfortable with your oncologist. Are they up to date on new studies? What are the side effects both short term and long term? Don’t hesitate to call them if you have concerns or if something feels wrong. I’m not one to complain but when I told my oncologist about how painful the neuropathy was on the second round of chemo he was very concerned and he changed how much taxol (one of the chemo agents I received) I got the third time because neuropathy can be permanent. If you want to get a second opinion, get one. It’s your body and your life, you have to feel comfortable with the choices that you make.
- On the actual day, dress warmly and comfortably. I probably looked ridiculous yesterday in a chunky orange sweater, skull leggings, purple socks, and green sneakers but I was comfortable. Bring a warm, fuzzy blanket. If your chemo room doesn’t have heating pads, bring one or an electric blanket, you will get cold. If you have an IV versus a port, your arm will get very cold. I actually put a heating pad under it.
- Be prepared to sleep a lot but bring things to do. I tended to sleep for the first couple hours because of the Benedryl but then I would wake up for the rest of the afternoon. It was a perfect time to get some knitting in and listen to a good audiobook.
- Bring someone with you. My husband is the strong, silent type and while we didn’t talk a lot it was a comfort to have him there. It’s nice to have someone to check in with who can help you when you need it. Basic things, like getting you food or helping you to the bathroom.
- Drink lots of water, and start before you get there. Your veins need you to be well hydrated to work properly. The premed can also leave a strange taste in your mouth and despite getting fluids, you will be thirsty…which means you will also have to use the bathroom a lot.
- If you are a coffee drinker aka caffeine addict, do NOT skip your morning cup the day you get chemo. I made that mistake my first time and ended up with a killer headache on top of everything else. It is not worth it.
- Exercise is a really great way to battle the side effects afterwards. I take walks which gets the blood moving and helps the neuropathy, the fatigue, and actually calms down the hyperactive annoyance of the steroids. I know it sounds strange when you feel exhausted, but it helps me a lot.
- Make friends with people who have gone through or are going through a similar experience. The cancer club is vast and once you join it people you never expected come out of the woodwork. As I said to a friend, I always wanted to be a part of some type of counter culture, but I didn’t expect it to be this one. These people will help you so much. It’s important that you don’t feel alone, and the sheer kindness is astounding. When I was feeling down during a chemo treatment I would shoot a quick text to my cancer buddies and they would answer almost immediately with cute videos and words of encouragement. Your friends and family will help you and love you but they don’t really get it and you need people in your corner who get it.
- Be gentle with yourself and the people taking care of you. This is a difficult time and it’s okay to feel down about it. You could feel normal one day and then sick the next, this is normal albeit frustrating. If you can’t work, don’t work. But if you feel good, do something fun. Laughing and being with friends is so cathartic. That being said, remember that your white blood cell count will drop, especially 7 – 10 days after chemo so avoid sick people and large crowds if you can. My toddler got sick in between rounds but I bolstered up on Echinacea and Vitamin C and thankfully avoided any illness.
- If you find yourself walking this journey and need to talk to someone, please feel free to contact me.
